How do you spell DISASTER??

So I have a confession to make. I suffer from eating out anxiety.

What the #($(*$( ????

When I am dieting (I'm getting better with using that word), and I am faced with having to eat outside of my home, I get a really anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. All of the choices listed on the menu and none of them with any nutritional information. It is like walking through a dietary land mine. I look for all of those buzz words like "crispy" (no good), "grilled" (good), "cream" (no good), to help me navigate. I even research the web for nutritional information before I go out to eat so that I can make good choices. Panera is great for that! But I have a problem when the outing is not planned and combined with feelings which strip me of my defenses. Like today . . . . .

Last Saturday, my son was taking a course in the morning. My daughter always sleeps late, by our family's standards. To get her going and get him to his class on time, my daughter and I skipped breakfast. We planned to go out for breakfast after we dropped my son off. I thought about this carefully. I chose a real breakfast place. The two of us sat at the counter. When the waitress came over to hand us the menu I told her "I just started back on Weight Watchers to take off some summer pounds. What do you suggest I get?" She lit up, complemented me on my determination and informed me that "you can have anything you want - they will fix it for you the way you want it." So I ordered a 3 egg white omelet dry (aka no oil), with salsa and a side of toasted wheat. Hey, I thought to myself, this isn't so bad!

When we picked up my son, my daughter quickly informed him that "Mommy took me out for breakfast". The poor kid . . . what could I do but take him out for lunch! Off to Panera because I know it is a safe place (but I didn't do my research - Ahh). We get to Panera and I quickly order the "you pick two" (soup and salad). I order the black bean soup, which I know is low in calories, but I was confused about the salads. So I did my little speech to the counter girl. "No problem! We have a book with all of the nutritional information right here". Wow . . . this really is easy!

Today is Wednesday. I spent the day at the Museum of Modern Art and met my "Sista" for lunch. I was already anxious about eating out because I knew we would eat at the Museum Cafe but I also felt I could manage the choice. I ordered a salad and then painstakingly wrote down exactly what I ate in my "little diet notebook". I got home and in-puted my food intake into WW's e-tools computer program. Not so bad - I don't have as many calories left as I would like for dinner but I can manage. Then I went to pick up the kids. We had to go to the mall to pick something up. And that is when it happened . . . . . . . my definition of disaster!

I'm hungry . . . . . . . I'm tired . . . . . . . . I'm not feeling well because I am getting a sore throat.

And there it is . . . I am at . . . .

THE FOOD COURT.

All I really wanted to do is get some really thick warm soup (about a gallon), buy one of those "snuggies" that they always advertise on TV (you know the one - " if you order now you will get two snuggies for $19.99") and crawl up on my sofa in front of the TV (maybe with a bag of chips to dip into that warm thick soup - YUM).

I tell myself I will resist . . . I have plenty of good healthy food at home . . . Oh but I am SOOOoooo hungry and my throat really hurts and I am so tired . . . . . .

I let the kids eat an early dinner. After all, they are hungry also and this will save me some clean-up time and allow them to get right to their homework. But what about me???? I look at my choices and I go for the soup! Not the seafood bisque, not the cream of broccoli, not the chili. I get vegetable soup (small please). It takes the edge off and gets me home so that I can eat the dinner I had planned for myself.

It is 7pm right now. I am tired. My throat hurts and I have eaten all of my points for the day (plus an additional 2). Unfortunately, I am still hungry, really hungry . . . . . I've brushed my teeth (sometimes a deterrent to eating). I am going to make myself a large cup of tea with some honey (1 tablespoon is only 1 point), take a couple of Tylenols and wrap myself in a blanket (damn I wish I had one of those snuggies).

Wish me luck! . . . . I hope I make it!