I am being TESTED!!!

Wow how time flies when you are BEING TESTED!!

I finally made it to Weight Watchers! I packed the kiddies off to school and away I went. It was nice going back; comfortable. I didn't see my regular leader but I did see the lovely woman who always weighed me in every week. I was so happy because I was finally taking control of my life.

I've been down this road before and I had an idea of what number was going to come up on that scale. I kept on telling myself that the number did not matter. I needed to focus on what I was going to do on a day to day basis. The number would follow.

Was it shocking? No. Have I seen that number before? Yes, a couple of times (which means it wasn't the highest). I didn't even look at it until I got home later in the afternoon.

OK - who am I kidding?? Of course the number matters!! We live our entire life "by numbers". Look at your annual visit to the doctor. The first thing she does is take your blood to test for all sorts of things and how does she measure those things?? NUMBERS!!! That is how we account for everything in life! HOWEVER!!! I know myself. If I focus on the number - on the "end game" - then I will not succeed. I play tennis. When I am playing my best tennis, I usually don't know what the score is (or at least I have to think about it). If I focus on the actual point (see the irony of my life - point in tennis - points in Weight Watchers) instead of the set or match, I play much better. That is because I am focusing on my footwork, the way I track the ball, the way I am hitting the ball - all the things that make a good shot and eventually result in winning the point. The same applies to "dieting" (I'll get back to the word). If I am vigilant about what I eat and I keep track of my consumption, the weight comes off! It is the planning and the good habits that will get me (have gotten me) to where I want to be.

PLANNING - very important! In preparation for my return to a "healthy lifestyle", I prepared some very delicious healthy foods to have on hand. Life does get hectic, especially the first week of school. I must be prepared. This means I must have healthy options available. Otherwise, if I am hungry and there is nothing to eat in the house - I will revert back to that peanut butter. So I planned and prepared and when I was hungry, I had good options to choose from.

So you might be thinking "why is the title of this blog 'I am being TESTED!!!'" Tuesday night my son was out with his uncle until late. They went to the US Open and didn't return until past midnight. I had to wait up for them. Instead of doing something like reading a book or magazine, surfing the web, or watching TV, guess what I did? I ate. I fell off the wagon. What I should have been doing was sleeping. I was tired and when I get tired my defenses drop. So I ate some cereal with milk, some of my favorite peanut butter on bread with fluff and a couple of handfuls of dry roasted peanuts.

The next morning I felt terrible. I kept telling myself "Life isn't perfect and these things happen. Just get right back on track." And I Did. I didn't eat very much the next day, probably because I was too full (and guilty) about the night before. Something clicked and I was back on track.

The next day my son got sick and stayed home. My computer started giving me some problems and then suddenly "crashed" (I'm writing this on my son's computer). I spent the day taking care of him and trying to get my own computer back up and running. Luckily, I had good choices on hand to eat from and I knew that going off track would do nothing for me, my son, or my computer. It would just add to my stress. I feel a little hungry and you know what?? That is ok because I am on a diet and I am trying to lose weight and eat healthy and it is all ok . . .

. . . . I think I passed . . . .