UnPlug

Yesterday, I read an article in Yoga Magazine.  It was about a woman who one day decided not to speak for 24 hours.  She found this period of quite and solitude so beneficial that she vowed, not to speak, for 24 hours, twice a month.  Funny how some literature really "hits the spot".

Now with the kids back in school, I have been feeling the overwhelming desire to unplug.  "Unplugging" means different things to different people.  For me it means taking some time for myself to do what I want or need to do.  That would include catching up on household chores, spending a day at the gym (including perhaps a sauna and massage), going to the beach by myself, going into NYC to meet friends or to just go to a museum.

This morning I went back to the gym for the first time in 2 months.  I went to one of my favorite classes (Spin) taught by one of my favorite instructors.  I was a little nervous because I put on some weight since June and I wasn't sure what my body could handle regarding exercise.  I was welcomed with open arms by my instructor and a fellow "gym rat" (of course now I am just a gym rat wannabe).  My gym friend looked at me and said "Wow you look great".  I looked at her, thinking that she must be blind.  I said "Are you kidding?  I put on so much weight".  She said "That doesn't matter.  Your eyes are full of life.  You are glowing.  The last time I saw you, you were so stressed out.  Just say 'Thank you' and accept my complement".

As I mounted my bike and began spinning, I started to think about the past year.  One year ago this week, Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy.  In retrospect, this event had a profound effect on me and really set the stage for my year.  Economically our country was in for a rough ride (and still is with unemployment at record highs).  Personally, I really struggled all year with my exercise goals and my weight management.  I fought a lot this past year, with myself and others.  I couldn't get to where I wanted to be and at times I didn't even know where that was.  I was searching for something - but what and where?  By the time the summer came along, I couldn't do it anymore and I just gave up . . . or did I?

I unplugged.  I walked away from my struggle.  I "surrendered" to my circumstances.  I accepted who I was and just relaxed.  If I was able to get to the gym, great.  If I didn't and all I could do was go for a bike ride, fine.  I took a deep breath and "let it be".  So much made sense in the light of what my gym friend said.  I was banging my head against a wall trying to do something that I just couldn't and expending a lot of energy getting no where.  Letting go allowed me the time to rethink my efforts and approach them with a different frame of mind.

Nothing really has changed - on the outside.  I have returned to my gym (the same one).  I have returned to Weight Watchers and my Leader.  I am home.  However, my outlook (actually it is my in-look) has changed.  I don't berate myself for my sabbatical - those two months of "carefree living".  I surrendered to it because it was necessary.  I needed to regroup and rethink where I was and where I wanted to be.  Now I have the ability to approach my goals and aspirations without fighting but with acceptance, strength and courage.

So, go ahead and unplug . . . you might find your own BFF . . . yourself!